October 14, 2010

too much writing

Now that someone's actually paying me to write(part time), I find it a lot harder to come up with creative energy to blog. This is not a bad problem to have, but I feel bad about not having this outlet anymore. I'm excited about all the articles I have coming up that I have to do, and trying to teach myself NOT to get overwhelmed by it, and to just GET STARTED, bc that's the hardest part for me, and then I get all anxious for nothing.

My best friend is eloping tomorrow with a guy I've never met that she's known less than half a year. I'm very conflicted about this. I want her to be happy, I love her, and she's a big girl, but I can't help but be worried and feel like she's moving WAAY too fast. Also, I knew she was never going to be a poofy-dress-fancy-wedding person, but getting married in City Hall? I'm sad I don't even get to stand next to my best friend on her wedding day. I never thought she'd be the first of us to get married, mostly bc she'd never been in a serious relationship. I feel like I've lost my last "single in the city" friend, and now it's just me. She and I could always make chat about our hs friends who have married and have babies and live in the suburbs and how we just aren't interested in that life. I'm sad that now I can't just up and go stay with her whenever I want. We're only children, I"m not used to sharing her. I don't want to have to think about what he'll think , or that it's now THEIR space. What about holidays? She and her mom have always been my family, especially when I didn't have any. Now she'll have a new family. I don't even know how to relate to this concept as it comes to her. She's my longest friend. We've been friends for 20 years(!!). I don't have a current relationship anywhere NEAR that close with anyone else.

1 comment:

  1. I had a similar freakout when my oldest friend (since we were 8) got pregnant. I thought our friendship would become distant and that she'd have no time for it. I was wrong. Dead wrong. In fact, our friendship is the strongest it's ever been, and I love her little boy, who is now 2 years old.

    What I'm saying is, don't stress it too much. Friendships that are worth it find their way through growing pains. Support her, and who knows, you may end up adoring her new husband!