December 27, 2009

On Christmas

(Icicles on my fire escape, after the snow last week.)

I've got to say, it hasn't really felt like Christmas this last week. I know I've got good reasons not to be the cheeriest ever this year, but I don't want to get sucked into a funk. I haven't really done much socializing these last few weeks, and as it gets cold and dark more, I tend to stay in and hibernate. I'm sure I get a mild bit of S.A.D (seasonal affective disorder) though I don't think that's kicked in yet. I think just all the changes with Christmas this year made it not seem so much like Christmas. I guess that's to be expected when you get older. This was the first Christmas I woke up alone, to no Santa, no stockings, no one but my own lovely tree and unconditionally loving cat. Which is fine. I chose not to go home this year, but it doesn't make it any less lonely.

On Christmas day, I drove up to DC to visit my longest friend and her mom (who's like a mom to me, and even much more lately, as she's been really supportive with the affairs related to my dad and grandma and everything). We went to a really nice Italian place in DuPont, where the service was impeccable and the Italian men were so friendly and my water was refilled as soon as I needed it (a big plus for me!). We had the pre fix menu and shared 2 bottles of wine. The waiter brought us a complimentary digestif of amaretto in little wine/shot glasses. Lovely. We then went to see It's Complicated, due to my friend's mom being divorced and well, there aren't that many movies for that demographic. It was better than I thought, but still a little sad, though it gave me a glimpse of what it's like to have an adult relationship with your mother. I was jealous of the dynamic the family had in the film. I have other-people family envy a lot. It made me hopeful though that my friend's mom and I could continue to bond, and have that kind of adult mom/friendship.

(from Nectar & Light)

I was grateful to spend the day with them, and be spoiled with dinner, wine, and a movie. I brought them some of my grandma's jewelry for them to choose what they wanted. My grandma had so much jewelry, and this was just a small portion of it. I was so so pleased that they liked so many pieces. My friend's mom adored a cameo ring, and my friend looked good in all the big, chunky necklaces that I could never pull off. It meant a lot to me that someone else could enjoy my grandma's jewelry, and it was like they had a piece of her now, so her memory lives on, not just with me.

(Gingerbread men at a local coffee shop)

After mailing them cards about my Grandma, I had my grandma's old friend and my other great aunt who I haven't seen or spoken to in years call me on Christmas, but I just haven't felt up to calling them back, which I feel terrible about. I do want to hang on to the little family I have left, but I don't feel like I have the energy for much right now. My cousins who came to the funeral are the closest, in MD, and I hope we'll all be a little better at keeping in touch. I grew up with them, and have fond memories of Thanksgivings and Christmases back then.

Anyway, I'm going to not let myself get sucked into holiday-melancholy, because I always hate when people hate Christmas because they had bad things happen to them on it. It's not Christmas's fault.

December 20, 2009

In Memoriam

Dorothy Cross

Michael Shaw

Hopefully I won't have to write any more obituaries for awhile. 2010 will be a better year, right?

December 17, 2009

move over, rover

BizSense is the new SMCRVA? Especially now that SMC doesn't have open bar anymore. Start-ups like these start with a roar and lots of millennial attention, and then seem to putter out. Let's see how this one fares. I'll probably attend. I like news. And booze. And Ross Catrow. And Style Weekly

December 8, 2009

Little Letters

Dear Apartment 10,
Thank you for being cute and posting this little letters idea today (even though it originally came from Taza, but I haven't gotten to her on my blog reader yet). Writing this is keeping me from flying off the handle, or breaking down today.

Dear Nursing Home,
When I drive through 2 states to bring to your attention my grandmother's labored, constant cough, you should take me seriously, so she does not end up in the hospital for the umpteenth time.

Dear Dr. Gallagher,
Please call me back and let me know what's going on with my grandmother. Calling me to talk about possible end-of-life plans and then not updating me at all in 12 hours is making me anxiety-ridden.

Dear Mom,
Please be a little more reliable. Please also don't hate me forever when I tell you that I'm not coming home for Christmas this year. See also, Postsecret.

(photo credit: Postsecret)

Dear Self,
Remember to put on eyelid primer first or else the eye makeup will all slide off, doing a terrible job of hiding the puffy eyes from crying last night.

Dear Students,
Please stop being so dense. I'm losing patience.

December 1, 2009

Elle's shoes

This is very cool, a staffer at Elle took photos of what shoes the magazine's staff was wearing. So fun to see everything from Target to YSL. It appears they stopped in September. I hope they keep going, I want to see some hot fall shoes and boots.


The Pretty Woman Collection, so you, too can look like a prostitute who happens upon a misogynistic, impossible reality.

That glow

I adore the lighting and the feeling of this photo. It's dark outside, but warm and cozy inside, with just the glow of ambient lighting. this is always the kind of lighting I'm seeking out, in real life and in photos. Once I get all my Christmas lights up, I'll have the lovely glow to bask in all season.

Emma is a blogger I read regularly for her style inspiration and chic photography.

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